He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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