Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize