Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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