I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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