We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
