Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you told grandpa to call you daddy
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize