well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
