I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
