You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
