Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
