btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize