Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
