As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
