Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
