Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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