she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
