She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
