so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
