You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize