I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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