This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
