Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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