I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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