ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
