Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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