i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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