it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
