eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
