so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
