suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
