I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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