I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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