Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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