I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
