he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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