Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
