I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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