Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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