Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize