oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
