i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
