oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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