Your tits are I can't wait for
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
