Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize