plz talk dirty to me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
