he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
