you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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