her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
