hell yes lets make some ravioli
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
