I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
