guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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