you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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