she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was like eating out sand paper
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
