I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
