I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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