girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
