Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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