There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
