she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sober January is a disaster.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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