porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
