I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
