I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
