so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
