I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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